October is usually a fun month for us, typically full of birthdays, anniversary, Halloween, etc. But this year we also lost my mom, Phyllis Jager, and life is now forever different.
Her 72nd birthday was on October 8, and on October 14th she crossed over to the next life, wherever that may be. She lived with a disease called Lupus for over 20 years, which is a disease that “tricks” your immune system into not fighting other ailments essentially.
Mom courageously lived with Lupus for so long and battled the fear of knowing that a simple cold could end her life, as crazy as that sounds. And finally in June of this year she learned that signs of lymphoma were present.
I can’t imagine knowing what she knew and knowing the “end” was near. But yet she kept a very brave face, tried to come back and tried to keep fighting. I never saw her cry or heard her cry, but I know it hurt. In fact I wouldn’t be surprised if she was even a bit pissed off that this was coming. Some choice words were surely spoken, even if only in her head.
And that’s who she was – a nurse, a care giver, a mom, a wife and a hell of a fighter. Toughest person I will ever know and funnier than hell too.
I will miss being able to call her and tell her how the kids are doing and how fun/bad/sad the day was. But I will continue to consult her on those things that only MOM knows the answer to, even if it’s now only going to be in spirit.
She lives on in us and with us and I can’t think of anything more important than to live each day in her honor and believe that she is watching, taking “care” of us in some little way.
I love you mom. Forever!
If you are ever so inclined, you can donate to the Lupus Foundation of America here.